Find yourself in Union with what is ALL LOVE. ~Bearji
Namaste Bearji, Can I ask you a question? I have a tantric relationship with a married man since a year. We share deep, powerful cosmic moments and we are so grateful for that. What a gift of life. But sometimes my ego is getting in the way, and then I would like to live a relationship like that, completely, profoundly, totally without restrictions of time, and it is very difficult for me to manage this frustration.
What we share during these moments is so intense and pure love, connected to each other and the entire universe, that it is very difficult for me afterwards to go back to my daily life.
I thought sharing this kind of love would help me to beam it into the world and be love to everyone that I meet. But I’m in a phase of frustration and even depression afterwards.
Until I met him, I only shared this kind of love with the soul of people who died or were close to dead. It is magic to share this with a person who’s alive. When I’m with him, I am love in the purest way, my question is, why can’t I keep this high level of love when I’m without him? So I can be love all the time and share it with everyone all the time.
Bearji: “There is a lot to unravel here, so I feel the most direct way is to be very candid. I will also let you know that I too was partnered with a woman for several years and we practiced these Tantric practices and seemingly were very good at it… So I am aware of these states… So when you say, ‘We share deep, powerful cosmic moments…’ I question the ‘moments’ as my experiences of Tranta Sexual practices were HOURS of cosmic bliss, especially for the woman. Four hours minimum. Sting states he goes longer than eight hours, I have no doubt. The stories go one Tantric master can service 40 women in one night.
I found it better to be at the service of one woman all night. So did she! She described these states as being one with God and having an out of body experience while at the same time having a full body orgasm. She would speak in tounges, then be speechless… audible sounds and her eyes rolling into the back of her head, I could tell when she was moving through mystical realms… I would hold her there for hours… Often later she would effort to find words for the incredible and indescribable levels of pleasure and deep Union with God.
So… ‘moments’ makes me wonder…
I do not doubt the connection you are feeling and the high states of sexual bliss. Nor do I doubt the feelings of expanded love. But for now, let’s take the word and idea of Tantric sex out of this as we take it all apart. This is the egos need to create its desired future through fantasy. Making plans and imagining all kinds of outcomes, often obsessively. (This is fear.)
I am not ignoring the fact he is married, and you stated you would like to live in a relationship like this… I have no judgment at all and offer others who may read this not to judge either.
The cosmic power works in mysterious ways to attract us wherever we need to be next for a powerful life experience, all so often in some life situation and circumstance. This is how we get in so much trouble as it is our ego mind that makes these choices.
The mind is under the influence of the ego’s desires which is the attracting force the Universe recognizes and with, all too often, a very spontaneous reaction placing someone who will serve you well, right in front of you. (Sound familiar everyone?) I’m sure he was surprised by his actions and has said as much. This is the attracting force of Karma for both of you. He has his lessons here too. And those others who are close to him and close to you, all have roles in this cosmic play.
The source of your suffering here is of two things, the misidentification of the ego and the firm pull from that which is desire, and the attachment to what is the object desired.
I really want to ask you about, ‘this kind of love with the soul of people who died or were close to dead.’
For now, I will imagine your heart was blown wide open in those moments. The Love with a soul you felt when around people who have passed or are in the process of dying. You explain this to be the same as when in sexual union.
Your heart is blown open. I would say you are having what I call a ‘Glimpse’ of Truth Itself as this cosmic Oneness which indeed is felt and recognized as LOVE. The ‘purest’ was one of your words…
You are Love, and you are already sharing this Love all the time. It may not appear to you and others of love, but trust me, every effort made by the intelligence of the universe through you and your filtered egos perception, is Grace Itself no matter the effect.
But… to help you I will only ask you to take your awareness inward into the LOVE of your heart and just sit still in that. Very simple. Silence now is the attracting force.
You can, if you wish, hold the intention of self-discovery and ask to see what it is within you which is under all desires, what is under your frustration, what is under your ideas of managing the frustration. (Come on all you fabulous women out there, speak to her about managing the frustration during a romantic affair.)
Or you can just be still, take your awareness OUT of your MIND, and into your feeling nature of the Heart.
The divine presence of God is there in your heart. All you have to do is be quite enough to hear the Voice of Wisdom. The wisdom aspect of consciousness if you will. It is right here and now and in you, it is you. You are LOVE. All the masters from every tradition end up stating the same things, one of which is, ‘You are That which you seek.’ You are That. That which has no words, so ego identification can’t touch it.
This is the self-realization which you really desire, and is that which you are getting glimpses. So you can do your inner work, which I highly suggest, locate and shed the ego misidentifications, or go right to God and find yourself in Union with what is ALL LOVE. This is the sacred remembrance we all long for from deep inside our hearts. It is an open secret that you are God. But the word ‘God’ has so many ‘attachments’ to ideas and concepts, all of which we all must move past, at least for an instant. (Part of the trickery of Wisdoms great play.)
I like to say; YOU ARE THE TRUTH. You are Love Itself. When you have this direct experience, you will see in that same instant that all the profound suffering in all of the life situations and circumstances, that which I called the intelligence of the universe backed by the power of Karma, is Grace Itself. The suffering points us all to seek what is not suffering.
Yet we seek pleasures in all forms of experiences and possessions thinking these will bring us happiness, but we remain empty while being surrounded with stuff and still suffering unusual and often very profound circumstances.
It is peace from suffering we seek. Freedom from emotional pain and mental anxiety. Grace Itself.
Grace – Love – Truth Itself – It remains a Mystery as it should, as there is no end, no birth, no death, only awareness. One Awareness. Beyond the idea of Awareness where even the ‘I’ disappears. Limitless Emptiness. Where the mind stops and Love IS.
Be still. Have the desire to end all desires, and that is to awaken. Be mindful of your ego, of all your ideas and concepts about the future and how you think you can make that happen. (Cosmic jokes appear here, and they are not usually at all amusing.)
Mindfulness in daily living and choices, and spiritual practice, time alone, meditation, reading sacred texts, yoga, Tai Chi, whatever suits your busy life. Balance is what we all need.
The glow of Love will beam off of you and the natural state of expressing loving kindness, and compassion for all others will follow. It is the Silence which reflects this Light.
Love YOURSELF this much.
Find yourself first. Be you. Then allow a romantic relationship to unfold. Live in the Now moment in the Heart and the wisdom of all time will guide your intuition. This is where there is no such thing as ‘afterwards, or ‘depression.” Then bliss states manifest in many ways as samadhi and so much more.
Limitlessness…. Beyond imagination and fantasy.
Silent Awareness is the one true attracting force behind all movement of life. Be That! No need to wait.
Namaste’… and please reply, ask questions or give a report. Stay connected.
Blessings and all Love, Bearji