I thought of you because I am in yet another dilemma and I don’t want to create karma again for myself.
I am married to a foreigner, and it’s been quite some time that we are separated from each other. Meaning we live separately…. he wants to have a divorce because he has someone else in his life.
Now every time I talk about him doing the procedure for divorce, he comes up with all kinds of excuses as firstly he doesn’t want to spend money on that and secondly he will need to leave my country as per the law.
So he is happy staying here with another woman and freely and everyone kind of finding out that he has left me now as he is openly taking that other woman out.
I wanna write to the immigration authority because legally it is required… that I put an entry at the police station, etc.. But if I don’t do that it means my husband will continue to use me in a way to stay here while he is not with me?
I am angry at that thought and tired of him using me like that.
Can you put some light into this situation? Am I being bad for thinking that way? Will it create karma for me because I am hating this situation and want him out of here? Which anyways he shouldn’t be here if he’s going for divorce!!!
Bearji: “Karma has a balancing power. Clearly, you have something inside of you which is seeking this balance. It is challenging I can tell as you are faced with both legal and moral dilemma.
First, it may be a good idea to investigate your anger. What is it that is at the core of this anger? You mentioned the feelings of being used…
Now you have an opportunity to investigate “being used,” and see what is under that. Whatever it is, or wherever this thread leads, is just information. It can be valuable information to some… But the real work is yet to come even after recognizing more mother issues, father issues, or whatever it is which fixates the ego.
The solution is found in taking your awareness out of your mind and into your feeling nature. Imagine you can then feel the anger, no matter what, who, when and where… Just feel ANGER.
We are all conditioned from early childhood. We build structures of belief systems from our life experience. And our beliefs have seemingly worked well for us, at least as far as survival strategies… Yet, beliefs are false identifications of the ego. So the secret trick here is to drop all of your “story” for an instant.
Let go of, “I am a person who is being used (or whatever)… I am not happy… I am worried about my Karma…” And then drop all of your histories… Going all the way back to release all memory… Memory will still be there… Have no fear.
Just now for a split second let go of all ideas and concepts. Rest in this silence. Then you will see you already have all the answers you’ll ever need, right here and now in the silent mind of not knowing.
Now, my counsel might be something like: This is your anger, not his. Be responsible only for you. Yet, being responsible for only you means you have no need to worry about his karma. Who can say what will appear for him next? We’ll see, right? I may even say that it could be that it is perfect for him no matter what happens next… AS IT WILL BE!
He may go back home or somewhere else or marry this new woman. Who cares? Whatever is next for him is next for him. What is next for you will be equally just what’s right. No matter what comes, goes or stays… this is where acceptance is the teacher.
You said, “…he is happy staying here with another woman…”
Let him be happy in this way.
But let yourself be happy too with what you need. It is your choice. Hold your awareness in your heart center, still the mind, relax the body… Continue to be still and as the answers unfold for you, just let them. Then… do not doubt your Heart.
Action or non-action, write the authorities or don’t write the authorities doesn’t matter, there is no escaping karma. Not until one is fully enlightened, my dear. Which also means, there is no escaping the Grace of Love, or Love Itself.
Be still and take care of YOUR heart. Be still and allow Truth to come to you. This is what matters.
Be well, my dear…